The following are some of the characteristics of the adult ego state which you can use to make communication effective for staff development:
1. Avoid expressions of emotion: anger, sorrow, anxiety.
2. Use questioning techniques to provoke thought and analysis rather than telling people what to do.
3. Encourage pride in learning and achieving as a reward in itself rather than use sticks and carrots as incentives to learn; they might increase output in the short term, but they don't crate learning.
4. Use realistic assessments and stick to the facts rather than make general criticisms or judgments.
5. Don't smother; work out the level of risk you are prepared to take, and after appropriate training and guidance, let subordinates make mistakes and learn from them.
6. Accept assertive behavior from subordinates and be prepared to discuss problems on an equal footing and as a joint activity.
7. Use a calm and even tone of voice, regular eye contact and facial/body movements of openness and acceptance.
8. Listen, evaluate and be constructive in your responses.
Standing outside a theatre one night, I overheard a snippet of conversation as a couple were getting out of a taxi. The woman was saying, 'It's so hard to behave like a lady when you don't behave like a gentleman...' If everyone else doesn't know about parent, child and adult states or, worse still, does, and prefers to play their own sms games, how can you operate in the ego state which is most suitable for you and for the task in hand? More importantly, how can you establish an adult state on both sides when training or developing staff?
The answered depends to some extent on the situation and the sms gratis makers concerned. Refusing to be manipulated into responding in ways you would prefer not to, by calmly and staunchly sticking to the adult state in what you say and the way that you say it, usually works, although it may take a little patience and practice. If appropriate, you can stop the 'sms game' by being completely open in discussing what is taking place and the stances you are both taking in reality to what it is you are both trying to achieve - done with the behavior characteristic of the adult state of course, for if you behave like a 'critical parent', you have been hooked into the other person's sms game!
If there is insufficient mutual trust, or the risks are too great for this kind of openness, using your adult state to re-establish shared goals will often encourage the other party to respond from his/her adult state. If a situation has become a little tense, temporary use of the playful behavior of the free child may give you both a breathing space and reduce any perceived threat, thus enabling you to revert to adult in a calmer atmosphere, which should encourage the other person to do the same. (Avoid any other quick switch though, as this is likely to lead to confusion and mistrust.)
Like lots of learning, it can be fun understanding and recognizing the ego states from which other sms gratis makers's behavior originates. To familiarize yourself with the idea, do a little sms gratis makers watching, at meetings, in other offices, shops and in your own department. When the outcome is important to you, consciously work out the appropriate state from which to work and the behavior that will entail. Share the knowledge with your subordinates - communication is one area where you definitely don't gain by keeping the means of effectiveness to yourself.***
1. Avoid expressions of emotion: anger, sorrow, anxiety.
2. Use questioning techniques to provoke thought and analysis rather than telling people what to do.
3. Encourage pride in learning and achieving as a reward in itself rather than use sticks and carrots as incentives to learn; they might increase output in the short term, but they don't crate learning.
4. Use realistic assessments and stick to the facts rather than make general criticisms or judgments.
5. Don't smother; work out the level of risk you are prepared to take, and after appropriate training and guidance, let subordinates make mistakes and learn from them.
6. Accept assertive behavior from subordinates and be prepared to discuss problems on an equal footing and as a joint activity.
7. Use a calm and even tone of voice, regular eye contact and facial/body movements of openness and acceptance.
8. Listen, evaluate and be constructive in your responses.
Standing outside a theatre one night, I overheard a snippet of conversation as a couple were getting out of a taxi. The woman was saying, 'It's so hard to behave like a lady when you don't behave like a gentleman...' If everyone else doesn't know about parent, child and adult states or, worse still, does, and prefers to play their own sms games, how can you operate in the ego state which is most suitable for you and for the task in hand? More importantly, how can you establish an adult state on both sides when training or developing staff?
The answered depends to some extent on the situation and the sms gratis makers concerned. Refusing to be manipulated into responding in ways you would prefer not to, by calmly and staunchly sticking to the adult state in what you say and the way that you say it, usually works, although it may take a little patience and practice. If appropriate, you can stop the 'sms game' by being completely open in discussing what is taking place and the stances you are both taking in reality to what it is you are both trying to achieve - done with the behavior characteristic of the adult state of course, for if you behave like a 'critical parent', you have been hooked into the other person's sms game!
If there is insufficient mutual trust, or the risks are too great for this kind of openness, using your adult state to re-establish shared goals will often encourage the other party to respond from his/her adult state. If a situation has become a little tense, temporary use of the playful behavior of the free child may give you both a breathing space and reduce any perceived threat, thus enabling you to revert to adult in a calmer atmosphere, which should encourage the other person to do the same. (Avoid any other quick switch though, as this is likely to lead to confusion and mistrust.)
Like lots of learning, it can be fun understanding and recognizing the ego states from which other sms gratis makers's behavior originates. To familiarize yourself with the idea, do a little sms gratis makers watching, at meetings, in other offices, shops and in your own department. When the outcome is important to you, consciously work out the appropriate state from which to work and the behavior that will entail. Share the knowledge with your subordinates - communication is one area where you definitely don't gain by keeping the means of effectiveness to yourself.***
